A Dear Friend

Photo by The Curated Feast

“May you encounter favorable winds all your life, and may one of them blow you my way soon.” - John De Cuevas

This weekend I traveled to NY to honor the passing of my dear friend John. He had that precious gift of making anyone around him feel like the most interesting person on earth. We gathered for John on a rainy day at @quailhillfarm, which reminded me of how he once wrote to me, saying: “Among my favorite moments in life are thunder and lightning storms in Amagansett. I sit outside on the front stoop to watch the greatest show on earth.”

At the memorial, the chairs were arranged in a concentric circles. He did not want a memorial, but was only persuaded to let us have one if we made it a celebration and if we all sat in a circle. The chairs were set in nesting circles, because so many who loved him attended. So we sat like ripples in a pond — each having experienced the same remarkable person, in our own way.

I feel that this encapsulates John’s wit and kindness: in reply to one email where I expressed how wild and fast life was feeling, he wrote: “I feel for you. Being grounded is essential, literally and figuratively. Astronauts have to train for the weightlessness of space, otherwise they become nauseous. We are earthbound creatures, attuned to the tug of gravity, and in its absence feel profoundly ill at ease. What's missing? What have I dropped?”

Now what is missing is John. He ended that email saying to me: “You're a very special person, and friend, and it means a lot that you're there for me, as I am for you.” I feel him with me still, and am glad to have been in NY this weekend to honor all the ripples he made in the world.